The Muslim has a mission in his life, and is required to be effective, active, tolerant and social, mixing with other people and dealing with them with tolerance and in accordance with the worthy Islamic attitudes and behavior.
Allaah Almighty Says (what means): “And hold fast, all of you together, to the Rope of Allaah (i.e. the Quran), and be not divided among yourselves, and remember Allaah’s Favour on you, for you were enemies one to anther but He joined your hearts together, so that, by His Grace, you became brethren (in Islamic faith), and you were on the brink of a pit of Fire, and He saved you from it…”[Quran 3:103]
Wherever the Muslim is found, he becomes a beacon of guidance, and a positive source of correction and education, through both his words and deeds.
He has a good attitude towards others and treats them well. He is of good and noble character, friendly, humble, gentle of speech and tactful. He likes others and is liked by them. By doing so, he is following the example of the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) as Anas may Allaah be pleased with him reported that he was: “The best of people in his attitude towards others.”[Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]
When a quarrel intensifies, when its roots go deeper, its thorns become branches and branches increase in number, then the freshness of the fruits of faith is adversely affected. Softness, sympathy, satisfaction and peace, which are encouraged by the Islamic teachings, receive a setback.
Performance of worship loses its righteousness, while the self gets no benefit from it.
Many a time mutual quarrels perturb the persons who claim to be wise. When this happens, they take recourse to lowly and superficial things, and sometimes indulge in dangerous acts which only increase difficulties and bring troubles. When a man is displeased, his eyes become prejudiced and ignore the camel and object to gnat. Such eyes do not appreciate the beauty of the peacock, for they only see its ugly feet and claws. If a slight defect is present, it turns the molehill into a mountain. And sometimes the internal rancor and jealousy affect them so badly that no hesitation is felt in inventing imaginary stories.
Islam disapproves of all these manifestations of ill-feeling and advises to abstain from them. It declares their avoidance as the most virtuous form of worship.
The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Listen, may I tell you something more important than the fasting, the prayer and charity?” The people requested him to do so. He sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “To keep the mutual relationship on the right footing, because the defect in the mutual relationship is a thing which shaves a thing clean. I do not mean that it shaves the hair, but that it shaves (removes) the religion.” [At-Tirmithi]
Many a time, Satan is not able to persuade wise men to worship idols, but since he is very keen on misguiding and ruining men, he manages to succeed in driving them away from Allaah, so much so that these wise men become more indifferent in respecting the rights of Allaah than the idolaters themselves. The best method adopted by the devil for this purpose is to sow the seeds of enmity in the hearts of the people. When this enmity develops into a fire and open hostilities result, he enjoys the scene. This fire burns man’s present and future into ashes and totally destroys their relationship and virtues.
The Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “The Satan has been disappointed that he would not be worshipped in the Arabian Peninsula, but he has not been disappointed from kindling the fire of fighting among the people.”[Muslim]
It means that when wickedness takes roots in the hearts, when people start hating love and brotherhood, and when these are destroyed, people then revert to cruelty and enmity, and break all those relations and links which Allaah has commanded to be kept; thus spreading corruption on this earth.
In order to remedy this disease, the most wonderful thing in a quarrel is to forget it as it had never happened, because remembering it will never be a sort of pleasure, while forgetting it will never be harmless, and a good word is stronger than swords and spears.
Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim may Allaah have mercy upon him said: “The origin of the enmity, evil and envy that occurs between people is from the following of Al-Hawaa (the lowly desire). The one who opposes his desire relieves his heart, body and limbs, putting himself to ease and thus relieves others. Abu Bakr Al-Warraak may Allaah have mercy upon him said: “When the desire prevails, the heart turns dark and when it does so, the breast becomes straitened and when that happens, the moral character deteriorates and consequently people will hate him and he will hate them. Then think of the evil, enmity, neglect of rights, etc. that arise from this mutual hatred.”