THE MEANS OF APPEASING THE NAFS (SELF/SOUL)

THE MEANS OF APPEASING THE NAFS (SELF/SOUL)

Comforting the heartbroken person and appeasing them, is not limited to just words but rather you can comfort and soothe them with money, or by honoring them, or with advice and guidance and it can be with supplication and seeking forgiveness for them or by fulfilling their needs. This comforting comes according to the strength of your faith. The weaker your faith, the weaker the comforting and the stronger the faith the stronger it is.

SOME OF THE MEANS OF APPEASING THE NAFS (Self/Soul):

{Comforting someone when they lose a loved one.}

Something that conciliates the broken Nafs (self/soul) of someone who has lost a loved one is offering kind condolences to them, as saying a good word to the afflicted person will keep him firm by Allaah’s Will, and his patience becomes easy on him and light. The believer may be weak by himself, but when somebody comforts him and is concerned about him it can facilitate even great matters.

When Yaaqootah bint Al Mahdi, may Allaah have mercy on her, died, her father was grief-stricken. People came to condole him and one day Ibn Shabba, may Allaah have mercy on him, came to him and said:

“May Allaah reward you O Amir Al-Mu’mineen for what you have suffered and may it be succeeded with good (news). May your trial not turn to wrath and may Allaah not take any blessing away from you. Allaah’s reward is better for you than her and His mercy is also better for her than you. I ask Allaah to keep you free from sorrow and trials. There was no condolence more eloquent and brief than this.”

{Apologizing to others and accepting their apologies:}

Being concerned with apologizing after making a mistake, is one of the means of appeasing souls, because humans make errors when dealing with people; and the expiation of this sin is to apologize to the person.

The same applies for the one who has offended you and then comes to apologize for their offence against you. Humility requires you to accept his apology whether true of false and to leave his intention to Allaah.”

{The exchange of gifts:}

Gifts have a clear impact on appeasing souls and purifying hearts from animosity. A gift is like an arrow that goes straight to the heart. How many upset people were affected by a gift and how many lost ones came became closer because of a gift, and how many hateful people become kinder after receiving a gift!

Anas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “My son! Exchange gifts as it will bring a lot of love between you.”
[Reported by Al-Bukhaari in his book Al-Adab Al-Mufrad (1/253)]

{Smiling:}

“Smiling in the face of your brother is a charity.”
This means: When showing a kind face when you meet him you will gain the reward that you get for giving charity as well as it appeasing souls and increasing love among people.

Ibn ‘Uyaynah, may Allaah have mercy on him, said:
“A smiling face is a source of affection.”

You may run into someone on the street when you are worried or sad and the person smiles at you making you feel as if your worries and sadness have evaporated.

Mu’aath ibn Jabal, may Allaah be pleased with him, said:

I”f two Muslims meet and they laugh at one another and then shake each other’s hand, their sins will be eroded like leaves falling from the tree.”

So smiling makes love prevail among Muslims, it soothes them and sends reassurance to hearts.

{Tending to people’s needs:}

The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam did “not refrain from walking with a widow or poor person and tending to their needs.”
[Reported by An-Nasaa’i (1414) and Ad-Daarimi (74) and Al-Bukhaari ruled it as sound (Hasan)]

Hakeem ibn Haazim, may Allaah have mercy on him, said:

“There was no day I woke up and saw someone seeking to fulfill his need, except I would consider it a calamity of mine and I would seek reward for it (by tending to their need.)”

{Regular exchanges of visits:}

Visiting a sick person during his illness and visiting brothers from time to time, has the great impact of soothing souls and friendliness.

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